waiting

We have been anxiously waiting for days. Thinking about all of the necessities we would have to gather for a baby to come into our home in 2 weeks. We wanted to keep it from the kids, when a birth mother is looking at our book, so that they don't get excited and hurt repeatedly, we failed this time because of the urgency of the situation.

Last night I sent a message to our adoption worker telling her it just made me feel better to check in, even though I know she is going to tell us when she knows something. She messaged back today and said she was hoping to have confirmation before letting us know anything, but last she heard the birth mother was leaning towards a different family. No confirmation of that as of yet.

I fully knew this was a possibility, obviously. But I had really hoped that this was our turn for a miracle, our turn for some good news. It doesn't seem like the case. As I fought back tears I thought to myself, how are you going to handle this time after time? I have to change how I am thinking about it.

I am choosing to remind myself this is not like our miscarriages, this child is not dying, he is getting a home, a loving family. This is a win! This family has been waiting just like ours. We don't have to start over with fertility treatments or anything like that. We are at the same place we were a week ago, waiting. This isn't OUR baby, and that is ok. It has to be ok.

So we will continue to raise funds. We will continue to pray for the birth mother of our child. We will continue to pray for OUR child. We will continue following what God has called us to, even though it is scary, even though it seems impossible, even though people tell us we shouldn't. We will just keep waiting.

Coincidences?

     As I have been thinking about and praying for the birth mom that is looking at our book today, I have realized a few things.
     First, her baby is due the same day that the first baby we lost was due.
     Second, last November, when we started this process, she wouldn't have been pregnant yet. She would have gotten pregnant in February (probably). We had most of our paper work done by then, but that is when Colm started having trouble and we didn't know what was wrong. We slowed down our adoption process.
     Third, our homestudy was finished and we received the message about this birth mom within 24 hours of each other.
     Fourth, she is near some of our family. So if we get chosen, we have a place to stay, no extra money for hotels necessary.
     These could all be coincidences, but they could be God at work. Please pray for us as we wait over the next couple of days to hear, either way. Please pray this mom would make the best decision for her baby. Please pray for our baby and it's birth mom, whomever they may be.

Exciting updates

     Our homestudy is finally officially completed!! We had to wait this last month for one person to turn in a form for it to be official. It is really hard waiting for someone else to complete something for you that is so important! So now whenever a birth mother is looking for a family, if our adoption worker thinks we would be a good fit, our family Shutterfly book gets shown to them and we are in the running to be chosen! This also means we need to be ready at any moment because the birth mother could be at any point in her pregnancy, or even have delivered already.
     Along those lines...our case worker is already showing our book to someone tomorrow!! And she is due this month!!! I am shaking with excitement! Now, this doesn't mean we will be chosen, but we are pretty awesome so who knows.
     There are some things that would have to fall into place. If she chooses us we would need $3000 ASAP. She is in Ohio and they require that money to help with her living expenses. She may or may not use it, but I think we have to pay it either way (still a little unclear on that). So, if you have ever considered donating to our fund now would be a great time! You can do that through paypal (I believe whether you have a paypal account or not) right here on this page. I will now, also, be beginning the process of applying for grants.
     Please pray for us as we begin the hardest part of this journey, waiting to be chosen. Please pray for our hearts if we are not chosen this time or any other times. Thank you friends!!